Posts

Showing posts from June, 2020

Vigilante mercenaries still on the loose

Image
WASHINGTON - Convicted of crimes they clearly committed, this band of mercenaries fled justice in the early 1980s, and have left a trail of devastation across the globe. It is only by Providence that, despite millions of dollars in property damage and stolen vehicles, explosives, and other weapons, no deaths have resulted from this team’s decades-long rampage. This notice is a public service. Please remain on the lookout for the following dangerous men: By Source, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=12385528 1. Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith: The ringleader. Loves cigars and when a plan comes together.  2. Lieutenant Templeton "Faceman" Peck: The team's fixer. An intelligence officer, he has an uncertain connection to Starbuck's Coffee. 3. Sergeant Bosco "B.A." (Bad Attitude) Baracus: The team's muscle. Known to pity fools. Just...leave him alone. 4. Captain H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: Pi

Damper Three's Tips to Make Father's Day Special

Image
Happy Father's Day to all you awesome dads.* Here's some tips for the whole family to make that day special. *If you're not awesome, please stop reading now.

Happy Birthday, US Army!

Image

Other Required Trump Rally Waivers

Image
Dear fellow Patriotic American, Thank you for signing up to attend the first post-fake pandemic rally for President Trump, and also for accepting responsibility for any potential COVID-19 infection that may result from it. We’re ready to get back to campaigning for another four years to “Keep America Great”, and we know you are too! But before you can attend, please read through the following additional waivers (simply formalities imposed on us by the Deep State), and click “ACCEPT” at the bottom of the page. Or better yet, don’t read them and click “ACCEPT” anyway.  You agree to cheer wildly for any celebrity that the President chooses to praise, no matter how irrelevant, outdated, or unknown. This includes that guy who played Chachi, James Woods, and that one game show host no one under the age of 50 remembers. You acknowledge that things can get crazy at these rallies, and if you have even a passing resemblance to Jim Acosta or Wolf Blitzer, you might not mak