How to get the most out of your socially distant 4th of July picnic

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Exposing the Bionic Man, Part 3: The Unspoken Costs

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In part one of this series, we discussed the financial costs of the bionic man program started by the US Government during the 1970s. In this, the third in our groundbreaking and daring expose, we look at the opportunity costs of Steve Austin. In other words, what did America have to do without because we not only purchased a bionic man, but also maxed out all the options, including the most suave mustache ever deployed in American history. Just TRY to argue with us. Plus, look at that collar. Dang. If he had been wearing that during his ill-fated crash, he could have simply bailed out and glided home. The operating costs were explosive. For example, during one mission, many of the details of which remain highly classified, Mr. Austin was forced to confront a Soviet “probe” designed to survive the rigors of the planet Venus. In the ensuing conflict, Austin’s nuclear-powered arm was heavily damaged. NUCLEAR-POWERED ARM. And Dr. Rudy Wells had spare parts enough to rep
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The Bionic Man Exposed!

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Steve Austin, cyborg stud. On March 6, 1973, the U.S. Government quietly authorized $6 million for use on a secret, state-of- the-art weapon system without the knowledge or consent of Congress. A weapon system, as one unnamed source reported, to take care of “certain jobs where ships, planes, [or] a multiplicity of personnel, would be problematic.” In fact, none of the traditional national security apparatus – the CIA, FBI, C.O.N.T.R.O.L - was aware of the program. This was no small feat. After all, not only was $6 million a significant sum of money back in 1973 (an amount that could have purchased a top of the line fighter jet or the votes of half a dozen senators), but the program cost an additional half to $1 million dollars per year to sustain it. Plus, spinoff weapons of similar cost were eventually deployed as well. Damper 3 recently launched an investigation of “Six Million Dollar Man,” Colonel Steve Austin, and the Office of Scientific Intelligence (OSI), th
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Building the Bionic Man: A Look at OSI

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Spycraft is of course a dangerous profession. Agents of communism and world domination have prowled the globe, and the United States rose to the threat by investing resources into some pretty cutting edge technology to defend her interests. From cellular phones hidden in shoes decades before the first such phones ever hit the commercial market, to cones of silence, to nuclear-powered cyborgs, America’s spies have been equipped with the best the nation has to offer. The origins of the Office of Scientific Intelligence (OSI) are murky, but the organization started sometime prior to 1973 as the Office of Strategic Operations (OSO). Keep in mind that at the time there were three other key spy agencies, the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), the National Security Agency (NSA), and CONTROL (the counterspy agency organized in the early 20th Century to counter the international organization of evil, KAOS). While the need for a new spy agency isn’t clear, it seems likely tha
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