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Showing posts from August, 2022

The Greatest Peter Sellers Spoof You Never Heard of

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The Forgotten Peter Sellers Spoof In 1957, the World War 2 movie The Bridge on the River Kwai was released, in which a burly-chested Richard Holbrook snaked his way through jungles of Burma (without a piano) to help destroy a bridge being built by the Imperial Japanese Army, using prisoner of war labor. These prisoners were mostly British soldiers led by none other than distinguished officer Obi-Wan Kenobi. An elegant actor, for a more civilized age. The movie won seven Academy Awards, including Best Actor, Best Director, and Best Movie. But arguably* the most impressive thing it achieved was a now forgotten spoof starring none other than Peter Sellers before he became Inspector Clouseau. *We didn’t say it was a good argument, but outside of The Argument in Monty Python's Flying Circus,  what argument is good? OK, the argument to stop and get a cup of coffee is good too. Amongst the many good arguments…where were we now?  The Forgotten Peter Sellers Spoof The Bridge on the River

My Father Was A Dirty Highwayman Thief

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Helping you kids with their homework is virtually impossible these days,  with new math,  core curriculum,  core strength,  crosscut, and CrossFit .  First, I don't even know your kids. Plus, it's almost impossible to keep track of. But what are dads for, if not helping with homework? Jokes of course! And also, at least in the case of my pop, being a highwayman thief. And today's post is no different.  Let's hope you get what you need in your studies,  and that your dad can help you with your homework, or at least tell you a joke. And if he can't,  well,  you can have this dad.  We weren't using him anyway. My father was a dirty highwayman thief Like this video? Leave us a comment! Hate this video? Leave us a hate comment.  But if you did like it, we've got more! Check out the below videos about Life, the Universe, and Dads. Top Weight Loss Strategies or Ways to Hate Life Sir Cumference and the Gift of Dad Jokes Revisited Sir Cumference and the Gift of Dad J

Top Weight Loss Strategies or Ways to Hate Life

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Sometimes you just want to feel better in life than you do now, particularly with your health. And one of the ways to do that is to feel really awful about life for a long time. This is because the cause of so much of our happiness and misery comes from the food we shove into our faces. Food makes us happy, and for many of us, it then makes us sad. That’s the weak point for any weight loss strategy.   Candy Photo by   Denny Müller  on   Unsplash Because to get rid of the sadness, we must stop eating the food that delivers up-front happiness. Which makes us mad. And then sad again. And then we often eat the food anyway to feel good, then sad, and then very, very disappointed. Life is tough. So how do we break the whole happy/sad/mad cycle? I’m asking. Please tell me. Oh, you were waiting on me? Well, I’m sorry to tell you that there is no easy solution, except to make the decision that you want to lose weight, and you’re willing to hate life for a while to do it. Let’s f

Sir Cumference and the Gift of Dad Jokes Revisited

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  I recently told you about how my father gifted me with the ability to make Dad jokes (see Episode One: Sir Cumference and the Gift of Dad Jokes ). Well, as a part of “not inheriting any other life skills that are useful” other than dad jokes, I was also bequeathed with an inability to fix anything more complicated than a light bulb. I went to the public schools during an awkward time when it seemed many thought it was a bad idea for people to do trades and take trade school classes. Traditional college was the way to go, so I spent my formative years learning and working behind a desk. My dad was a working class man and knew a lot of stuff he could have taught me, if he could have made sufficient money on one job to not have to work two jobs and be too tired to teach me. So I ended up missing out on a lot of the important masculine childhood experiences. Changing canooter valves and souping up your engine and that sort of experience was lost on me. Mostly all I was ever able to

The Best Indiana Jones Quotes of all time

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  The legend begins As we await, white-knuckled, for the fifth installment of the Indiana Jones franchise, let’s take a moment to remember that Indiana is, hands down, the greatest cinematic adventurer to ever punch, shoot, or whip his way through a wall of enemies. He may have been inspired by great movie and literary characters, but they were perfected in Indiana Jones. And he has the awesome quotes to prove it (usually uttered in between giving a beat-down to various goons). It’s not just us who say Indy is the best. Back in 2003, the American Film Institute rated Indy the second greatest movie hero of all time. Hold the phone. What the… SECOND ? Who in the WORLD could beat Indiana Jones? Oh. Atticus Finch. From To Kill a Mockingbird . My friends, that is some garbage. That’s like asking a friend what their favorite hobby is, and after they say something like “collecting comic books,” you reply with “my hobby is fighting climate change.” Putting Indiana Jones and Atticus Fi

Sir Cumference and the gift of dad jokes

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Dad jokes are a gift. And a curse. In sword-and-sorcery stories, the hero almost always inherits a powerful heirloom to guide him or her through the story. While it’s usually a sword, it can be any number of powerful items, amulets, crystals, or whatnot. The item is instrumental in tying the hero to his or her rightful past, and helps him/her become the rightful king or queen, despite the hero being so sleepy all the time. On account of a bunch of sleepless knights. See, I inherited an ancestral heirloom as well. It is the ability to make Dad Jokes. And while I would trade it for a magical sword in 2-seconds flat (not to put too fine a point on it)   I'd settle for a mystic epee (not to be confused with mystical pee).   But I have found that this ability gives me a certain status among Gen X dads. Dad jokes are like those mating rituals between males in the animal kingdom, where they strut their stuff in front of each other and the women to try and get the chance to procr

Indiana Jones and the Hazardous Construction Site

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  Childhood is a time of discovery. More specifically, it is a time spent trying to discover what can kill you as you explore the hazardous construction site your parents told you like half-a-dozen times to stay away from. Construction site photo by  Jamar Penny  on  Unsplash It’s scientifically proven (probably) that many children of a certain age can't see danger. Or rather, they can’t see the real danger of things that can harm them, only the imaginary danger of the things that can’t. When a group of young kids are running around the neighborhood, trying to find something to do, it’s not uncommon for them to wander into an entirely different world. In this world, adventure and mystery exists, entirely constructed in the minds of these kids. But unfortunately, that world is often built out of non-OSHA approved materials, such as boards with rusty nails in it, broken glass from abandoned buildings and, of course, poison ivy. A massive dirt mound set on the outside of a half-built

The best George Lucas film you’ve probably never seen

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  From the same brain in the same year. In 1983, George Lucas released a little-known movie called The Return of the Jedi . No wait. That was the movie that everyone heard of, even people who swore off modern life and had moved into caves in the Himalayas. There is no way you could not have heard about Return of the Jedi , or George Lucas for that matter. But what about the best George Lucas movie you’ve never seen? Have you heard about Ralph the All-Purpose Animal? Or his loyal friend Mum? Or the evil Synonamess Botch? Left to right: Mumford, Ralph, and Synonamess Botch How about Scuzzbopper, the well-meaning minion who really wants to write the Great Amurkian Novel? Nightmare writer and aspiring author If you never heard of these characters, then you’ve missed out. But there’s hope. First, some details. Just three months after ROTJ conquered the box office and put a major bookend on the childhood development of Generation X, Twice Upon a Time was quietly released. It wa