A Hell of a Way To Die

He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock,
He felt the wind, he felt the cold, he felt the awful drop,
The silk from his reserves spilled out, and wrapped around his legs,
He ain't gonna jump no more.

Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die,
He ain't gonna jump no more!

The risers swung around his neck, connectors cracked his dome,
Suspension lines were tied in knots around his skinny bones;
The canopy became his shroud; he hurtled to the ground.
He ain't gonna jump no more.

From Blood on the Risers, a World War 2 era Army Paratrooper song

Last week, we recorded a video about something dark but hilarious that one of the Black Hats (as the Army Airborne School military trainers are known) said while teaching what to do in the case where the main parachute is tangled and the reserve parachute fails (an extremely unlikely scenario). You can watch the sage advice above.

A couple of days after we recorded this, a TikTok video started making the the rounds: it showed an army paratrooper having a parachute malfunction. It is absolutely terrifying to watch, but you'll be glad to know the soldier landed safely.

We tried to figure out if this was a sign that 1) we should not share our video about dark airborne humor, or 2) that we should definitely share it.

We went with option 2. Because the solider was fine, and it's still a hell of a way to die.


Check out our other Jacks of no Trades videos!


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