Showing posts with the label bionic

OSI and the Bionic Body Parts Cover-up exposed!

  Insert video Damper 3’s investigation into the highly secretive Bionic Agent program continues to uncover secrets that are often shocking and sometimes, if we’re lucky, titillating. In today’s post, we expose the bionic body parts program, where proposed and prototyped bionic enhancements were tried but ultimately (and wisely) discarded. The following were uncovered after reviewing recently declassified information made available after Damper 3 Freedom From Information Act requests. Canceled Bionic Body Parts Program ●       Bionic Appendix: This $1.5 million bionic feature is half the size of a regular appendix while being able to do three times the nothing. ●       Bionic Cat Eyes: These monstrosities don’t actually do anything. The government funded over $2 million researching them before realizing the researcher was just a Furry trying to make the ultimate costume. Sicko. ●       Bionic Mustache: OSI actually fielded this for a few years, deploying it on Col. Aust